OT Car Repair Phenomenon

My First Time Realizing OT Levels Were A Fraud

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Like most new Scientologists, I thought OT Levels were the thing to reach for. They were supposed to make us able, powerful beings. On Hubbard’s Bridge to Total Freedom, he described them in flowery language. I believed that I would have all these awesome abilities. I knew an OT I. Of course in Scientology, you weren’t allowed to ask about the vaunted levels. But he actually scared me a little. I was pretty sure he must be able to read my mind.

Here’s what the grade chart looked like back then.

The end phenomenon of OT I that was stated in the 1970s was “Extroverts a Being and Brings About an Awareness of Himself as a Thetan in Relation to Others and the Physical Universe.”

Once I joined Sea Org, my bridge progress came to a screeching halt. But when I got to the GO, Mary Sue insisted we make progress on the bridge. So I restarted my auditing and training. I also got pregnant, married, and started working for the FBI. If you haven’t read that part of my story, here’s a link to catch you up.

But I made it to OT I fairly rapidly. And I started it. This is an auditing level. But by the time you get to the OT levels, the majority of them are solo audited. What this means is that you counsel yourself using Hubbard’s rote commands.

I got the confidential course pack and started reading the commands, written in Hubbard’s handwriting. I read them three times. Each time I was angrier.

That’s right. OT I tells you to stalk a bunch of people and judge them until you have realizations about them. I don’t know what it cost in 1975 for the privilege of walking around stalking people. Claire Headley’s freeloader bill shows she was charged $2750;for New OT I.

New OT I is lamer than OT I.

But that is generally the way all Scientology operates. The auditing levels, the counseling that is supposed to free your mind and soul, is all repetitive, mind numbing, nonsensical gobblety gook.

But at that time, I was still trying mightily to continue buying into the belief that Scientology would make me a super being.

After rereading the level incredulously a third time, I shrugged my shoulders, grabbed a notebook and walked outside to do my OT I. Downtown Hollywood has lots of people so to do the OT level took a couple of hours. I really tried my hardest to make it meaningful. But it felt stupid. The outdoor walk was nice.

I managed to work up enough enthusiasm and confidence that I had finished what I considered to be a pretty stupid level, that I attested to the completion of OT I. Then I routed onto OT II. This was a really exciting level for Scientologists, the level before “The Wall of Fire” OT III. Supposedly the biggest best baddest OT level ever.

I thought that OT II had to be pretty good if it was leading up to OT III. Again I was disappointed. But at least it seemed to have some substance. I had barely routed onto it when I had a weekend off.

Scientologist are a very insular group of people. They very seldom associate with anyone outside their specific clique which they form. And they don’t associate with anyone outside of Scientology socially generally. 2 brothers, their sister, the one brother’s wife and the other’s girlfriend, a male friend of the family and my husband and I made up our little clique. Our connection was that we had all migrated to the advanced orgs from Salt Lake Mission.

On this weekend, we were at our apartment. The younger brother, Steve, had come to visit a couple of days earlier and his car wouldn’t start when it was time to leave. I don’t know what LA is like now, but back then, there weren’t many taxis, public transportation was shunned and people didn’t understand the use of feet for transportation. Therefore, a broken car was a catastrophes,

Every free minute he had, Steve was at our house tearing apart pieces of the car. He worked so hard, but it wouldn’t start. FWIW, Steve was an auto mechanic by trade. This Saturday afternoon, the men were all gathered under the hood. The women were all leaning against a pillar in the parking garage a short distance away. I glanced at the car, pushed off the pillar, pointed at a wire poking in the air and said “where does this wire go?” It went silent in the garage. Steve reconnected the wire, got in and started his car.

Then there was all sorts of cheering and raucous behavior. I got hugs, etc. One of the girls said “it’s because you’re OT now!” No wonder you figured it out.

I felt like such a fraud. No matter how high I got on my OT levels, that feeling never went away. It wasn’t until years after the fact that I realized that I wasn’t the fraud, the fraud was being perpetrated on me,